Holtsters News

Forgiveness...

2011-08-29T20:36:00.001-07:00

So I haven't been on here in forever... just a little busy being a mom, and all the other hats I wear (I won't go into them too much). Anyway, I have been meaning to take a moment to blog, and since I have been carrying a lot of sadness, I guess this is cheaper than therapy. :)

1989, the year is as clear as day. My little world came crashing down on me... the little perfect life I had once known, vanished, in a flash. It was September and the days were getting shorter, and the weather was getting cooler. School just started, and I was going to a new school. "The new kid" is something all of us experience at one time or another, but it was a new feeling, a good feeling for me. I felt important because my parents were now driving me to a really good school. We lived in a rough neighborhood and my school became unsafe.

It was the year my mom turned 30, she seemed so old a mature, looking back I realize she was still just a very young mom. A dark family secret had surfaced, something I would rather not talk about, but would like to talk about the events that took place around this secret. For me it was a not a secret, and only a few would share. It was a Wednesday night, just like any normal school night. There was a visitor at the door, my Aunt who had lived next door. She took my mother in the bedroom and my mom came out with a very strange look on her face. She looked mad, and for some reason I felt like it had something to do with me. I would later learn, the following day, that as unfortunate as it was, I was in the middle of this family "secret".

Days would pass by, and I was interrogated by a couple of family members. Now, I use the word interrogated like it was a bad thing, but it wasn't (I guess it is just the cop wife inside of me). They asked me several questions, which left them with no choice but to believe the allegations. In the days to come, I watched my extended family rally together, they rallied for all who were involved. It doesn't surprise me to this day that they rallied around the victims of such secret, but what I always wondered about was the rally around the "other one". I remember thinking, "Wow, my family is so forgiving, they love each other so much, that no matter what the case may be, they are always there for each other."

October came, and my brother got real sick. My father was self employed and we didn't have good insurance, but my parents didn't have a choice, they had to take him to Good Sam. He was extremely dehydrated, and was admitted to the hospital. He was tested for a few things, but a resident doctor recommended that he be tested for Cystic Fibrosis. Two weeks passed, and the call came from the hospital. He tested positive... I remember hearing my mother screaming and crying (which was normal lately) and I thought it was still about what recently happened, then I heard the words, "Are you sure he has it? Are you sure?" She ran outside and hid behind the truck. Being a 12 year old little girl, I too wanted to know what was going on?

I don't remember exactly when I was told my brother had a terminal disease that would eventually take his life, but again, the haze came. I was crushed to find out something was wrong with my little brother.

Now, back to the point of this blog, my extended family, they rallied once again. I remember everyone being there for my parents, but it wasn't anything unusual. The entire family would come together every weekend, I remember hugs were given out. I can remember my uncles would come up and give me a hug and ask me if I was okay. Everyone was there... everyone.

2011- almost 23 years after one of the most altering years of my life, I am sitting in front of a computer, wondering... "what happened?"

The family that was so close, supportive, FORGIVING, loving, caring, those rallyers (is that a word?), where have they all gone?

Forgiveness is a choice (not in my book, but some may argue its a choice). You can pick and chose what you want to forgive. But my personal beliefs are: If you want to be a happy person, a loving person, a good person, a person of integrity, faith, good works, kind hearted, I can continue but I think you get the point, you have to forgive. You HAVE to forgive to have room for love in your heart. If you don't forgive, you may say you are the person I described above, but I know you are not. You just can't be if you don't have sincere forgiveness in your heart. There will be no room for love.

If you haven't figured it out, my extended family is in total chaos right now... the back biting, rudeness, unkindness, murmurings, lies, and meanness, well it is taking its toll on me. I have to forgive... because it's not a choice. I love myself too much to walk around with anger, I want to wear that smile on my face, and it be sincere. Because that is just who I am.
I love the gospel, and I am so thankful for all the lessons on forgiveness. I get it now... I really do.

Marley's big win!

2010-12-01T21:45:00.001-07:00

Marley joined the Stampede Cheer Squad in August! She became quite the pro! She is so amazing, she caught quickly to all of the cheers and because such a leader, even though she was one of the youngest on the squad. Her squad went to the championship and they placed 1st! Isn't that awesome!

We had a large group cheering our team on! This was important because some of your scores came from crowd participation!

Here is a photo of Marley shortly after she found out she won first place, but this was taken the exact moment they presented her with the "team spirit" stick. All of the girls voted Marley has the team's most spirited! She was so proud!

Here is our group! I had Shayn's boys for the weekend, so they came along! We had so much fun! We celebrated by going to Ponchos! Where else do the Holt's go to celebrate?

We are so proud of our little cheerleader! Look out high school!

Disneyland

2010-12-01T21:33:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how bad I have been about blogging. I looked at some old postings and it made me sad to think of how often I blogged, and now only find the time every couple months. I continuously read other friends' blog about their every day life, but can't seem to find the time to record our day. Anyway. I thought I would catch everyone up on how things have been going around here. We just recently went to Disneyland. We took Debbie, my mother in law, for the first time. She liked it, but I think she was a little overwhelmed there.

The kids were really into trading pins this year. We started it a little last year, but I bought some off ebay, and they traded away! Below are some photos of their favorite pins. I really like this hobby. Colby said, "When I grow up, I am going to show my kids all of my pins! And they are going to be so jealous!" I thought that was so funny.

I love how my kids are so happy, without any cares at all! We live that hustle and bustle life, so having a moment during the year were we can all be together without any cares is really nice. It sounds a little selfish, but sometimes I can't believe how crazy busy my life can get. I love family times like these!

Few questions:

2010-09-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

If any of you have the answer to these questions, please leave a comment:

1. Why is it that we try to raise our kids to do the right thing, but other adults contradict what we are teaching?

2. Why doesn't anyone see that it isn't teachers not doing their jobs, but the ever changing dynamics in the family unit.

3. It isn't that teachers are racist but only 52% of African Americans and 55% of Hispanics graduate from high school, so why is there pointing fingers?

4. Why aren't people nice?

5 Why can't we all work a 4 10 week?

6. Why can't we put a comment in our own FaceBook status without people leaving rude ones?

7. Why is it that I ALWAYS feel so dang guilty for things I can't control?

8. Why are there wars?

9. Why does racism exist?

10. Why can't I sleep?

11. Why can't we live in peace?

12. Why can't laundry magically get done at night when everyone else is sleeping?

13. Why can't I keep my house spotless like every one else?

I think I actually feel better :)

Ray Holt April 21, 1944 - August 14, 2010

2010-08-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

Ray at our Wedding, April 26th, 1997

Ray doing his life trade - approximately 1984

I have been waiting to do this post for a week and a half. My father - in-law passed away last week of pneumonia. He suffered from Alzheimers for the last 2 years. My heart is aching so much, I find myself tearing up while I am doing my everyday routine. Everywhere I look, something reminds me of him. I know that I have to remember all the memories that I have created with him and share with my family.

Ray,Kennedy, and I - Christmas 1998

One thing I know for sure, is he loved his family, especially his children and grandchildren. Like President Allen said, in some ways this was his fault, he loved them too much. I remember him being over protective of our children. Ofc. Holt and I have had several discussions about his dad taking over our children like they belonged to him. Funny to me now, but at the time a serious issue. I loved Ray. I knew how much he loved us and cared about us that it swells my heart with pride. He was so proud of us... i know this to be true.

He was so hard headed, I mean it! I have never in my life met anyone like him. When Ofc. Holt and I decided to live across the street from him, he moved us all by himself. He couldn't wait until Ofc. Holt got off work, it had to be done, and so by himself, he packed up his horse trailer with all of our belongings and moved us in one day. He had a smile on his face the entire time. He was so excited, he could barely control himself.

Every Friday night, from the time we moved in till Lil'Colby turned school age, he asked for Bub to spend the night. He loved him, he loved them all.

You could always depend on Ray. No matter what obstacle Ofc. Holt and I would have in our young marriage, Ray gave all to ensure our happiness. He loved his youngest son, so much. I know that Ray's mind started going in 2004, but he couldn't have been more proud of Ofc. Holt when he graduated from the Police Academy.

Ray was incredibly strong. Up until two years ago he used to ride his bike from our home in Laveen,to the top of South Mountain, and back. He Rodeo for 17 years and was a gymnast in College.

The funeral was amazing, and I know that is kind of a strange thing to say, but that is the word that describes it. Tod and Ofc. Holt did such an amazing job in celebrating their father's life. You were able to feel the love of family in that chapel, and I know I will never forget how I felt that day. We will always love you! God be with you til' we meet again.

I am going to miss you, Cowboy!

End of summer

2010-08-03T16:33:00.001-07:00

Well the dreaded day is here... the day before I return to work. I have been an emotional wreck. Some may think it is ridiculous for me to be crying and upset... but I AM. During the summer I can be that perfect mom:

1. I make cookies with the kids, just because

2. assist them on things they need extra help with like multiplication tables

3. cook an actual dinner and enjoy it

4. allow friends to come over

5. cuddle with Marley on the couch without a hundred things running through my mind

6. watch the sun set from my back porch swing while listening to Don Williams or George Strait

7. talk to Ofc. Holt about little things, nothing too important

8. go grocery shopping without a time constrant

9. do laundry because I can, not because we have no clean clothes!

10. do the dishes when I feel like it

11. Scrapbook and play with the cricut

12. search the internet for crafts that I would like to do

13. go shopping on other days besides Saturday

14. enjoy my Saturdays instead of running around like a mad woman because it is my only day to run errands

15. I can continue but I think you see my point...

I am sad, so sad... Ofc. Holt told me today that I needed to find a new job if I didn't like the one I am doing, but wait... I love my job! It is just the chaos I feel the entire time from August to May! The guilt I feel from not taking my kids to church activities because I have too many things to do, or just wiped out from the week. Or feeling like I have to schedule time with my husband because we never see each other. I hate feeling to tired to help my kids with homework or my patience has official ran out because I had a rough day, or my yucky commute 2 hours a day... the guilt, the guilt, the guilt just builds up...

Did I mention that I hate meetings? School meetings, one of the biggest waste of my time... that is what I'll be doing for the next 3 days... AAAAAAA!!!!!

Vacation...

2010-07-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

I love this word. Our first family vacation this year was going to visit my family in Kansas. It was awesome! I love it there, it is where my family is from. I have so much family history there. The house my grandma was born in, the first place my grandpa worked @ 14, the house where we visited my great grandma every year growing up. I love it, as a matter of fact, I would probably consider moving there someday.

The best part of this vacation, it was totally spontaneous! Monday, June 21st. We told the kids to pack their clothes for 7 days. We packed our clothes and loaded the car in 3 hours! We left our house @ 9 PM, and we were off. The kids slept most of the way, and woke up at 1 AM to be told we were in New Mexico.

They were so confused (we told them that we were going to San Diego). We told them that we were actually headed to see Toto and Dorthy, Marley responded, "Are we going to Kansas?" Yep! They were totally surprised! Ha ha, so was my family! We had a fun trip even though it wasn't planned!

Here are some of our pics from the great state of Kansas

I'm a loser baby... so why don't cha

2010-06-19T08:46:00.002-07:00

I feel so bad that I have allowed to get myself off the blogging track. Mostly for myself that I haven't kept track of the important events of the last few months. Here is a break down...

February - Found out Phx was laying off cops... oh dear, not good. Very stressed. However, exercising at least 3 times a week. Bub made the JV Baseball team at school and Kennedy made it in the play... very proud of both of them.

He looks so much like his father.

March - Marley's birthday. Turned 8. Disappointed at the fact that she will be the only Holt child not baptized on her birthday, new rules. Towards the end of the month, found out Ofc. Holt's job had been saved. 2% sales tax and some other cuts, there were not police or fire layoffs. I got braces... they sucked, but helped me loose more weight. I officially lost 25 pounds at this point. Family reunion was great! No pics, unfortunately! Forgot camera. Lost a dear friend, Jacob Whetten in Afghanistan. RIP Jacob. I am now reminded daily of a soldiers sacrifice for my freedom. I placed a collage of Jacob's photos next to the American Flag that hangs in my classroom. It reminds me to take a second and remember those who "gave all".

April - Got our family photos done! Finally! We haven't had a family photo professionally done in 8 years! Scary! Here's a few: all photos were taken by Rejli Woodeki

Marley's baptism. I have never seen a kid more excited to be baptized. She is great!

Ofc. Holt and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. I took the day off and we hung out in downtown Glendale. Awesome.

May - Last month of school. A great and exciting time for me. I love that last stretch with my students and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel :) The twins celebrated their 11th birthday... totally amazing.

Here is a collage I was working on... these two are best buddies.
It was a great month. We finished up school and went on a short vacation without Ofc. Holt. We went to Texas and visited with my family. I will post pics later.

June - So far we have spent at least two days a week at wet n wild. It is a blast! We love it. I have been enjoying hanging out with my cousin Jenel and catching up. Also went to girls camp. It was fun. I loved being incharge of crafts!

The month isn't over. Ofc. Holt is taking a week off and we are going somewhere... not sure where we are going, but we are going on a vacation! I will post pics! I have been working on some math curriculum this month, which has been an honor to work with 3 other amazing women, and just for the record, women are amazing! I am going to try my best to update my regularly... I don't know if I can do it daily, but at least once a week.

My New Life

2010-05-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

Budget Meetings for Phoenix

2010-02-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

I would just like to extend an invite to those of you who would like to attend the Phoenix Budget meetings to support fire and police in Phoenix. Phoenix Police Department is already 450 cops short, and the city manager proposed to layoff 350 more officers. This will devastate Phoenix. http://www.azplea.com/images/stories/PDF_files/2010_budget_calendar.pdf
There are several meetings taken place in the Laveen and So. Mountain area. The first meeting will be held at Carl Hayden High School.

update

2010-01-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

Quick update on my new years resolutions:
Education: My students have commented on how much technology I have been using! All of my bellwork each morning is done on the SmartBoard and created by me? (Or my partner in crime Tiff:)
Physical Appearance: Well the first week of course I did well, but last week was a challenge because Marley and myself were really sick, didn't happen. But on the brighter side I have lost 15.6 lbs in 16 days! Woo Hoo!
Spiritural: Still struggling with this, but I have made a big effort into trying to make up my minutes on Sundays, does that count?
Home: I haven't done the dishes everyday, but I have been doing them more often. Laundry, I so set myself up for failure on that one:)

New Year's REVOLUTION!

2010-01-06T09:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, I know it is resolution, but I thought it was hilarious when Marley called it a revolution. I guess in some ways it can be. My New Year's Resolution isn't just one thing. I have many:
Physical Appearance: I want to become more active. I want to run at least 4 days a week for the whole year.
Education: I want to become more techy. I want to use technology in my classroom more so that kids are engaged.
Home: I want to keep my house clean and tidy. I will do a load of laundry and fold it the moment it comes out the dryer. I won't let the dishes pile up longer than a day.
Spiritual: I want to read my scriptures everyday for at least 10 minutes ( I would say 15, but I know that will be hard, 10 feels manageable.)

Here they are... let 's see if I can do it!!!

Christmas Eve Tradition

2009-12-27T19:39:00.007-07:00

Traditions
Now that I am in charge, I have made some traditions with my kids. One of the traditions has been baking all day on Christmas Eve with Katherine and Jes.Kennedy isn't into this at all.

Katherine and I are going to give Martha a run for her money.

Ofc. Holt doing what he does, being a Rockstar

We love this tradition. Thanks kids!
Another tradition we have is opening one present on Christmas Eve, which just happens to be PJs. This year Colby and I exchanged our gifts too! Dont laugh too hard at my face, okay?
Sweet Tay

Kennedy getting excited about opening some PJs.
Martie loving her Pjs, she is so much like her mother, as you can see below.My incredibly adorable son.
Ofc. Holt getting ready to open his present, now seriously don't laugh!

He went to Jared's! Seriously, you said you wouldn't laugh! Yikes, next year I am totally doing my hair and makeup after I finish baking!
Here is the story. My mother lost my wedding set, and after 2 years of looking for it she found it. She called Colby and he got it fixed. It was a huge surprise... I thought I would never see it again.

Christmas memories

2009-12-17T09:35:00.005-07:00

I started this post over a week ago, but hesitated to post it. Before I go into all of my family Christmas memories, I would first like to express my gratitude for my brother Jesus Christ. He is the reason we celebrate Christmas, and it was the miracle of his birth and life that the world comes together and celebrates on this day.

My cousin Sharon gave me the challenge to blog my favorite Christmas memory. At first I thought, "Well, I don't really have a favorite." But after some deep thinking, I started to recall a lot of fun and happy memories. Here our my top five favorite Christmases and if I do this correctly I might add in some video:)

#5. "The Drill" Growing up my parents had very little money, but some how some way we always had a great Christmas. My Dad would always buy my mom something and the same with my mom. Well I guess my dad had been wanting this drill that cost $80 and my mom told him that she wouldn't buy it. We didn't have a lot of money, and 80 dollars in the late 80's was definitely a lot of money. Anyway, my Dad thought he was a real comedian when he decided to buy my mom the drill. I am sure all the ladies that are reading this took a deep breath because we all know that this is mean and cruel. Anyway it is all on video and so the memory has been captured forever.

#4. "There is a Santa!" I posted this memory on my cousins blog, but I still would like to share it. All of my aunts had 2 kids, one boy and one girl. This was the same for my mom, except my mom was the only one that had her girl first. So if you haven't figured it out yet, the only cousins I had my age were boys! Anyway, it was probably Christmas of 1988, we were all outside Aunt Marsha's house, this was the usual spot for Christmas Eve. Jason, Josh and Mickey were convincing me that there wasn't a Santa. I remember looking in the Arizona sky wishing that I could see a sign to prove to these three boys that there was a Santa and that I was right! I can still remember their taunts of how "dumb" I was. The magic of believing is so a great feeling, a feeling that I still try to capture every year.

#3. "She's actually coming for Christmas?" Christmas of 1994 was a magical year. I was 15 and as my Christmas present my mom was sending for my cousin Margaret to come out from Kansas to spend the Holidays. It was one of the greatest Christmases with some of the greatest moments captured on video! We decided to make a music video, of course I would be the singer :) Anyway, we put on a performance that has gone down in Christmas history as "The Pretty Little Dolly" Christmas. And let me just add that "on the back if you turn the key, she goes through puberty." Love you Margarita!

#2. "Doing good" Christmas of 2005 was a year of miracles. I was in on a big secret in my ward, I don't want to go into details but this was a magical Christmas, the spirit of giving is just a magnificent feeling.

#1. "The Red Dress" If you have never heard of the Red Dress, well I don't have all day to explain it, but I will try to write some cliff notes:
It all started with:
Some rotten oatmeal cookies
Velvet Red Dress that was worn TOO many times
Mrs. Doubtfire and T'was the night before Christmas
A very Scary heart attack
A family that won't let things go

It all ended up with:
An open heart surgery
A Hospital that will never be the same
A heart shaped pillow made from the Velvet Read Dress
13 years of memories that will never be forgotten.

You are probably wondering where are the Christmases are from the years of me being married. Well they are special too, however now that I am an adult Christmas sometimes carries lots of stress and work. I am trying to create the same great memories and feelings that my mom and dad created for Kenny and me.

We have made lots of special memories with our kids, Ofc Holt and I. We have lots of traditions we do every year. This year, our routine on Christmas morning is going to be quite different. Some of our traditions are going to have to change some. Ofc. Holt works on Christmas from 5am to 3pm which is basically the whole day. I have already shed the tears, so I have accepted the idea. Anyway, I am trying really hard to make this year as special as all the others without the presence of my husband. I love my kids and the memories I am still creating each year with them.

Monday, Yay!

2009-12-14T14:43:00.003-07:00

It's Monday and I am so excited to be finishing up the second quarter of school and the last week of school for the year 2009!
Changes are on the horizon... Yesterday our ward was split, Ward splits are tough, always have been. I am sad, but this time for different reasons. I am sad that I am going to get released from my calling :(. I will miss all of those YW that I get the honor of teaching every Sunday. I will miss my friends too. Some of them I have known for a really long time and we have outlasted lots of splits, but it has come to a point where we were separated. I am sad. But to look at the positive side, we still get to go to the same building and we don't have that long drive. I feel bad for those who do have to take that long drive to the stake center. It's not like it is that far, but when you get used to leaving your house 4 minutes before church starts, it is hard habit to break!

11 day till Christmas and I have a lot of shopping to do, anyone up to shopping with me on Saturday? I need to buy for my brother, sis n Law, Ofc. Holt, and Taylor (ummm... and maybe one little gift for Marley).
Hope everyone has a great week!

Tuesday, blah...

2009-12-08T19:34:00.002-07:00

It is Tuesday, nothing too exciting happens on this day, but 5 things that happened to me were:

5. Battery was dead on the Armada when I tried to go to work... thank goodness it was Ofc. Holt's day off.
4. I taught GCF today, I love Math.
3. Ofc. Holt brought me Duck and Decanter for lunch, he is AWESOME!
2. Convinced the girls to donate some of their old toys to charity.
1. Remembered to put in a load of G's in the washer (that was mighty important!)

1 Shepard, 2 Ward parties, and a partridge in a pear tree...

2009-12-06T19:05:00.005-07:00

Ward Party

Saturday night was our ward party. It can be described with three words: Big, Cold, and Uplifting. I love going to ward activities, but to be true to myself, it has been a long time since the Holt family has attended a ward function. I am not going to explain all the reasons why. Anyway, we had so much fun that we attended two ward parties in one night. One of the main events in our ward was the nativity play. This was definitely the high light of the night, and maybe for me it was because my son was a Shepard, who knows :). Here are a few pics in case you missed it.
Rehearsal (Colby with green jacket on)

Actual play (Colby with blue towel on his head)

After we left the ward party (we left early because, simply, I was FREEZING) we went to Vineyard's Ward party. Ofc. Holt went with us even though he was tired. It was nice spending time together on a Saturday, even if it was just for a few hours. The kids had a lot of fun and we were all in bed and asleep at 8:30 PM.

Craft Day/Family Day

2009-12-06T18:56:00.004-07:00

Craft Day

I got a chance to craft with my family. It was awesome, and the company was great! I snapped a few pics. Also, I know that my last posting said that I was going to try and blog at least every other day, well obviously that didn't happen. BUT, I have been taking pictures with the intentions of blogging, so I will get those postings done soon.

This is me pretending to be exhausted from running the Cricut for all of my Aunts.

My Aunt Candi being creative!

Aunt Tam making some stuff

In case you were wondering....

2009-11-30T18:55:00.003-07:00

I have decided that I would like to make a posting on my blog at least every other day. I know how much I look forward to reading my friends' and family's blog, and so I want to do more blogging. Anyway, top 5 things that happened to me today:

5. I was running so late this morning that all I had time to grab for lunch was an uncrustable.
4. I video taped first period to turn into ASU
(Today was my first day back teaching in 10 weeks, rude awakening.)
3. I had to make a Quick Trip to QT for some well needed Midol.
2. I had a really good laugh with Tiff after a really long day with a bunch of 7th graders.
1. Kept my promise to my 7 year old that we would go see Christmas lights for FHE.
(well kind of, I told her we would ride our bikes, not happening, TOO cold!)

Thanksgiving...

2009-11-29T11:07:00.006-07:00

Thanksgiving 2009

Giving Thanks for our Moms

Ofc. Holt carves the turkey

Cousins spent time together and building relationships that will last their lifetime

My father and me

Britt, Mike, Mom and Ryder enjoying each others company

My mom making her famous potatoes and Uncle Bill making the most
important item, gravy.

The family surrounding the table to check out ads for
Black Friday.

My Aunt Marsha and Aunt Shirley

Thanksgiving was a great day. I hope everyone had a time to reflect on their year and the things they are most grateful for.

What time brings...

2009-11-29T10:54:00.002-07:00

The boys headed to Turkey Bowl

Thankful for my son

Since the first year of my marriage, I have spent Thanksgiving morning putting on a turkey with the help of Ofc. Holt, then there he goes... he is off to relive some high school memories, playing football. Every year he comes home with war stories, which has always included being yelled at by Bro. Finell, and a few others for playing too "rough". This year was a special year, it was the first year our son got to go. He is finally at an age where Ofc. Holt says that he can "handle it". I told Ofc. Holt that Bub could only go if they were going to be on the same team (I DO listen to all of those war stories). Anyway, they had a lot of fun, and if anyone's husband complained about mine, I really am sorry.

Time for giving thanks...

2009-11-17T15:44:00.004-07:00

This is the month for giving thanks. Even though I am guilty of jumping into Christmas a little too soon, I really love the month of November to reflect on all of my blessings. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, as I have every year. I have 4 healthy children who are the whole reason I wake up in the morning. They are so important to me and I can't imagine life with out them. I am so thankful for my amazing husband, who undoubtedly is my best friend. We have SOME time alone, and when we are, we talk about life and how fast it has gone by. We still dream together, and that is the best part. I am thankful for my parents. I am at an age where I really appreciate all that they have done and still do for me. They are great. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and food on the table when so many others are struggling. I am thankful that I have a job that I love and enjoy, my dream job. I am thankful my husband has a job that he loves and talks about ALL the time :) I am thankful for my church calling. I can't imagine serving anywhere else. The young women in my ward are truly delightful daughters of God. They are examples to me every Sunday. I am thankful that I get to drive a car with heat and air conditioning, quiet, and dependable because for so many years I didn't.
I am thankful that I have had the chance to spend another year on this earth to raise my children and to continue building a life with my husband. There are so many things I have to be thankful for, but it is 2 til' four and I am going home.

Oh, one more project...

2009-11-09T21:37:00.003-07:00

This is the time of year where I go project CRAZY! So here is something else I did. Yeah, that is my last name on my School Sweat Shirt cool, huh? Other than the fact that my students will be able to spot me across the hall. I should have rethought the sequins.

Ornaments... getting ready...

2009-11-09T20:53:00.003-07:00

Bub, Marley, and Ofc. Holt working hard

Kennedy and the finished product.

Taylor kept reminding everyone that she takes after her mom and that she is crafty, naturally.

Marley wrote everyone's name on their ornament... FHE fun!

Tonight for FHE we made Christmas Ornaments. It was a lot of fun. I have a container of ornaments my kids have made at school, and these are the ornaments that I hold close to my heart. Not the Lennox ones that I paid an arm and a leg, or the hallmark ones that I had to sell dog for. They are ones with a simple picture surrounded by golden noodles, or painted puzzle pieces. I love these ornaments. Well the kids are getting older now and are not making these ornaments any more at school (dang NCLB). So I bought two kits from Hobby Lobby and we made our own. This was such a great way to celebrate the season approaching us. I think I even talked Ofc. Holt into putting up our Christmas tree this Wednesday. Here are some pictures for your enjoyment :)

A promise made...

2009-11-07T07:49:00.004-07:00

The summer of 2007 we made a family vacation to Kansas. We promised our children we would go on a family vacation every year from that point forward. The following summer there were some major changes in our family and we were unable to go anywhere for vacation. We used our vacation money to keep us afloat and we survived. While Colby was finishing the academy and I was finishing grad school, we made a promise to our kids that when it was all over, we would go to Disneyland. Well the following summer came (2009) and Colby, since he was new on the job, didn't feel like he should take any time off, so once again we spent the summer at home. Colby's one year mark was August 25th, and he would be able to take some time off... so I did it, I planned a vacation that we had promised to our kids. I knew we would have fall break in October, which in our opinion is the best time to visit Disneyland anyway! So, it was set, we were headed to Disneyland Oct 20th! Woo Hoo!!!!
We had a blast. Our kids were on the go every minute of our three day visit. Disneyland wasn't crowded at all, we got on all the rides several times over! It was a blast. Here are some of our photos from our trip! Oh, and the best part: NO STROLLERS for us!!! :)

The girls and Tinkerbell

My silly family.

The Twins

The Whole Family

Just us girls.

Kennedy turns into a Young Woman

2009-10-29T08:38:00.003-07:00

Kennedy on her birthday.

Kennedy at Disneyland 10/09

Kennedy turns 12 today. This is quite the big deal in our church. She no longer goes to primary, she is now in YW. I can't believe how fast her life has gone bye. She is so grown up and independent. She is very responsible and a great student. She is driven and wants to be a police officer like her dad. That really doesn't make me happy because I worry, but I know when she puts her mind to it, it happens. I love her and so glad that my Heavenly Father gave me a daughter 12 years ago. I have made several parenting mistakes, but she survived! I will post some pictures when I get home!

Wow, braces have done wonders!

2009-09-27T18:01:00.005-07:00

Okay, even though Colby II has had his braces off for some time now, I still thought that I should post some before and afters.

Before (yikes :)

After :)

He will have to get braces again, but for now at least my son can smile without being so self-conscience. I know that I am giving him a gift that he will be grateful for the rest of his life. A beautiful smile is priceless.

Funny story... Colby II is currently wearing two retainers. At school he wrapped his retainers into a napkin (which I have told him several times not to do because he will throw them away:) So guess what he did? Yep, he threw them away. The cafeteria aid told me the story. Colby walks up to her and says, "Mrs. Scott, I think I threw my retainers in the trash can?" She said as soon as he finished his sentence he fell to his knees gripping onto the trash can, bawling his eyes out saying, "My mom is going to kill me!" Now, as Mrs. Scott is telling me the story, I can't help but laugh (I am not mad because I know that if they hadn't found them she wouldn't be some calm telling me the story.) She told me that she calmed him down and reassured him that I wouldn't kill him. They started looking through the trash and viola, found the retainers, she saved his life :)

4 Holts with braces = a lot of debt. two more to go.

Back to school, back to school, to prove to dad I'm not a fool...

2009-08-19T19:38:00.005-07:00

Family Photo

The kids getting a little irritated waiting for their dad.

Well I feel really bad that it has been forever since I have blogged, but as you can imagine I have been a tad bit busy. Anyway, things are going well here in the Holt house hold. I got my winnings today, but I didn't celebrate, instead stayed at school for a late meeting (oh, I don't gamble, so don't think it is from the casino). This has been the best start of school I have ever experienced. My students are wonderful, seriously, 7th graders can be wonderful. My children have been very happy coming home from school talking positive about the school day, so that is always good. Taylor and Colby are officially middle schoolers! I can't believe it! They are so grown up! Kennedy is in 6th grade and Marley is the big 2nd grader. She is enjoying being the big girl helping her cousin Madi get used to Rose Lane now that she started Kinder. Marley really likes her teacher so that is a good thing.
We had a weird day yesterday. Taylor got her braces put on early in the morning (see pic below) and Colby dropped her off around 10:30. Well at around 11:45 there is an all call at school asking for Mrs. Holt to come to the office. I was thinking, what the heck? I was at lunch so little bit grouchy that I had to go to the office. Well low and behold it was Taylor. She was in the nurse's office. She passed out at lunch... I guess she really is a minnie me. I am a passer outer, and we just have to adjust. I think she might have got over heated, but I still took her to the doctor. They want to run an EKG and an ECG??? I think, something like that, but heck my parents didn't even take me to the doctor when I was passing out all the time. No, but seriously, I think it was just an overwhelming day yesterday and she hadn't eaten all day. I will keep my eye on her, but I really do feel like she is okay. Life is good, and I feel really blessed.

Taylor 10 years old, first day of braces! Yikes!

Passing up Pom Poms...

2009-07-09T22:26:00.004-07:00

Okay, I had to really think about this blog and couldn't decide whether or not I should post it. Of course we all know that Michael Jackson died June 25th, and if this is news to you, well I guess you have been living under a rock. Watching all of the news coverage of his death really gave me a chance to think and reflect on Michael. I have a story that I would like to share... when I was a little girl my parents didn't have a lot of money. Getting something from the store was very rare. Sometimes my mom would buy me some paper dolls or a Sunkist soda if I were lucky. But there is one occastion I remember so clear in my mind. I had to be in Kindergarten. My dad, mom, and my cousin Angie went to Smitty's. For those of you who are new to Laveen or South Phoenix, Smitty's was the only grocery store and it was located on Central and Baseline. Smitty's was the "one stop shop". They had everything, groceries, movie rentals, candy shop, toys, and of course records. I can't remember what I did that was so special, but I was able to pick something out, something big! I can clearly remember standing there holding the Michael Jackson Thriller album and staring at the red and white pom poms hanging on the shelf. I had to choose. I couldn't make up my mind, but I passed up the Pom Poms and my parents bought "the album".

I remember going home and listening to "wanna be started something" over and over. I don't think that I really liked "thriller" because it was scary, but I cherished that album. It was on a shelf right next to my record player. I also wore one white glove that I got from the parade. I seriously had issues :() Later came the We are the World record that was added to my collection. This has always been a childhood memory for some reason, I am not sure, but my memories of Michael don't end there.

My brother was a Michael fan too. He can still do that famous move and spin... he was really good at it. For entertainment (because there weren't video games, internet, or DirecTV) I would beg my brother to dance to Billy Jean. I would just sit back and laugh. Those were some really good days for me and Michael... I am not sure what happened to the Michael Jackson that captured a 5 year old little girl's heart, but he definitely had some charisma.

What ever happened, I am sure we will never know or understand.

However, I am understanding that Michael Jackson was the King of Pop, or like Barry Gordy said, "The Greatest Entertainer that ever lived."

I guess Michael, in death, can still capture a little girl's heart with his talent.

GO NAVY!

2009-07-03T12:12:00.005-07:00

Well another girls camp has come and gone... of course it was a blast. As I reflect on girls camp this year, I learned a lot about myself, witnessed amazing teamwork, and once again felt the spirit of Christ.

Rejli put on an uplifting program on Sunday night, there is not a doubt in my mind that the message that night will be remembered by the girls for many years. It is special people like Rejli Woodecki and Janet Bencomo that dedicate their time and life to service, and in turn the young woman of this stake will grow testimonies from programs like Girls Camp @ Camp Lo Mia.

I watched Sister Chancellor work non stop for five days cooking for nearly 140 people, just amazing, of course she didn't do it alone, but let me tell you, she is the BOSS.:) The teamwork was extraordinary. We live in a world that is selfish and self-centered, it was refreshing to see the people helping each other out. I couldn't have survived the week without Tobie Stevens. She was my right arm. Thanks Tobie.

About learning something about myself, well again, I learned that people who are just "nice" get further in life, and if they don't get further, they are just a little bit happier. I have been accused of being too passive, but I have to say it's better here in "passive" land, I like it.

Some of my greatest memories I have are from my youth. I love thinking about Camp Lo Mia, I made a life long best friend there, Amanda Bartlett. I strengthened my testimony by embracing the words spoken by my leaders and following their example. I will be forever indebted to my leaders. It was now time for me to return those favors, or pass it on.

Summer begins...

2009-06-06T10:04:00.005-07:00

Summer has begun!

The first day of summer, or weekend of summer, was spent with my husband. We had a blast... it was so nice just the two of us. The kids were in Texas visiting with my grandfather. They had a lot of fun. Colby's schedule just changed, he now works days and gets Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thrusdays off, it has a been an adjustment, but I think it is going to be perfect. We have spent a lot of time together, time that we have lost in the last couple of years with what life has brought us. I am definitely not complaining, life has been really good to us lately, or should I say the Lord has been really good to us. When the kids came back, we went to a couple of movies and went on bike rides every night.

Taylor on her bike.

Me posing of course on my bike.

It was awesome. This last week, we went to Woods Canyon Lake. That was a lot of fun. It was like out of the movies, it was so perfect. There was a couple of times where I felt like I needed to pinch myself. I took two naps! I am really enjoying our family and the age of my kids.

Bub at Woods Canyon Lake.

We went on bike rides, rented a boat, and did some "fishing", if that is what you want to call it.
All in all we had a lot of fun! It has been a great start to a long and restful summer...

My Husband, Officer Holt. (I love saying that :)

Kennedy enjoying her bike ride!

Marley does her "trick", isn't she so cute?

Our Family Flag... we have some more stuff to add since the last time we used it two years ago!

Twins turn 10...

2009-05-12T22:38:00.003-07:00

Yes, you read that correctly, they are ten! Can you believe it? I can't and I am the one that gave birth to them! They are such a blessing to our family... they are two of the most loving children that I know. Colby has really grown up now that he is the "man" of the house (his father keeps reminding him of that). He is always worried about me and does anything to make my day easier. Taylor is a minnie me, so of course she is a delight! I love these two so much and can't imagine my life without them. I feel so blessed to be their mom.

take me out to the ball game...

2009-05-03T07:50:00.004-07:00

Little Colby up to bat.

Playing 3rd... minutes before walking off the field.

Okay, so some people just don't get the Holts... come spring time, our lives are centered around baseball, professional and little league. Little Colby has been on two leagues this season, and being a "single mother" has had its challenges. But he has really grown up a lot and he has been playing on the major division in Laveen. Being the youngest on the team has been interesting, but Colby has been doing a really good job proving to people that he belongs with the older boys. It might have something to do with the fact that Colby has been playing ball all year round since he was 3. Yesterday, he played in a tournament at St. Agnes. His team placed second (poor coaching) and I realized that my son inherited my husband's temperment. He was so mad at his coach that he called a time out, walked off the field, threw his hat and glove in the dug out, and was close to tears. Of course it had something to do with the fact that he woke up @ 6am after playing the night before until 10 pm, played 4 back to back games that started at 8 am and it was now 4:30pm (no break, he ate pizza in between innings), and the temperature was 90 degrees. He was toast! But I am NOT going to give him an excuse, he was totally out of line and was showing NO sportsmanship... when I walked back from seeing what was wrong with him, my husband asked, "What was wrong?" I simply replied, "You, he is you!" Some people might avoid putting this story on their blog, but I am not... the Holt kids are not perfect and I am not going to pretend that they are! I wanted to beat him in front of everyone for his poor attitude, but thought that might be a little more embarassing! This morning it's funny, but yesterday it was not. The worst part is, I didn't think they would get that far in the tournament so I didn't put sun screen on, oh my goodness! You should see me, I look like a tomato! Anyway, long story short, we got in the car and I looked in the back seat to yell at him (or "talk" to him rather) about sportsmanship and the kid was asleep! What can I say, I might have walked off and made a scene had I been playing baseball all day and I was watching my coach make poor decisions that were costing us the game too! Maybe he gets it from me!
Okay, so now the professional baseball... my parents are season ticket holders for the Diamondbacks! Woot! Woot! So our lives this summer will be consumed of sunflower seeds, noon games, water bottles, cheering crowds, nooners (from the Duck and Decanter, a sandwich shop people!), the old man that sits in front of us, and of course fireworks. Bring it on! I am ready for my summer centered around the Diamondbacks! Let's go D-Backs, let's go!

Alice...

2009-04-30T21:52:00.004-07:00

Kennedy was in the"Alice in Wonderland" play at her school. She was just awesome! The play was awesome and all of the kids did a wonderful job. As I watched her act in front of all those people, I was so impressed how calm and confident she was. She truly made me proud. I am so grateful for her, even though at times she and I battle, she is going to be a strong young woman. I am so grateful that she has the opportunity to attend such an amazing school. There are so many different opportunities that are going to come her way and I know with out a doubt she is going to make history!

Blessed.

2009-04-13T21:36:00.002-07:00

I have been very reflective the last couple of weeks and trying to pay close attention to how blessed I am. I don't really need to go in great detail, but it feels really good to know that my Heavenly Father looks out for me and my family. We had a wonderful Easter Sunday. We never get to go to church with my parents, so we joined them in Vineyard Ward for Easter Sunday. It was nice and worked out great since I didn't have to teach the Young Women on Sunday. I am so grateful for my family and their examples to me. Well anyway, 5 1/2 weeks left... do you know what I am talking about???????

Is it summer yet?

2009-03-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

As I have always been taught that trials only make us stronger, I find myself afraid to ask the question, "How much more?" I am afraid because I don't feel like I can handle much more. In the last year, every time I "survive" a tough time, right around the corner seems like another one just waiting. I don't want to sound like I am complaining (but I am) and I know that everyone has their own battles that they are fighting, but when is the stress going to be lifted from me? I said something today to a friend of mine, I said, "Sometimes I wish I could just go back to my life as a stay at home mom. Things were simple, life was easy, I had less stress." Hopefully I am not offending anyone out there, but I do yearn for those days when all I stressed about was what I was making for dinner, getting the laundry done, paying the bills, finishing my crafts, getting kids ready for school, taking care of kids, walking in the mornings with Lucinda, mopping twice a week, deep clean, magnify my calling, taking kids to baseball and dance, and grocery shopping. Now I get to still stress out about all of those things above, plus work full time which requires me to leave my house at 6:30 in the morning and returning at 5:00 on a good day. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my children for 8 years, but life is ever changing... now I get to be grateful that I have been blessed with the opportunity to get an education, work (with so many out of a job, I hate to say that I am not grateful for mine:) and to have a job that allows me to still spend time with my kids. I am getting to a place now where I am ready for summer I guess... teaching is like being pregnant, at first I get so excited about what to look forward too, new kids, new year, and by the end of the nine months I just want it to be over with. AIMS is next week, and things just get really stressful around campus. I just have to let it go...

Train Tracks...

2009-03-16T12:08:00.001-07:00

Colby finally gets braces! Here are so funny photos that I took of him today... I have never kissed a boy with braces before... we are going to be like two teenagers because I get mine put on this summer! Craziness!

Sedona Getaway

2009-03-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

We went out of town for the weekend to Sedona... it was so much fun. I really loved being with Colby and having no worries... it was an awesome. I am so thankful that my mom took the kids for the weekend. I am so lucky to have her as my mom. We ate everything in sight, Colby ordered duck at this restaurant and he loved it. Colby and I had such a good time... we are going to go on more weekend getaways!

Here is a picture of me with all of my treasures from a thrift store!

Colby and Robbie

The bikes loaded up and ready!

Marley's 7th Birthday

2009-03-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well this is way over due, but I haven't had anytime to get this done. Marley turned 7 years old exactly one week ago today. It is amazing to me how time has just flown by. She is the brightest kid I know and she will agree with me. She is so intelligent and wise for her age. She loves to dance and sing. Her nickname is midget since she is the smallest kid in her class... she is often mistaken for a 5 year old, which makes her very angry. But regardless of her size, she is mighty. She is so excited that she has one year before she gets baptized. It doesn't seem possible that 7 years ago I was giving birth to my last child... but it has. I can't imagine our family without our Little Miss Marley. She got a new bike that she has been practicing riding... it is so funny to listen to her talk to herself... she says things like, "Okay, all I need to focus on is my balance." I think to myself, I wish some adults can have personal dialogue with themselves the way Marley does. We would live in happier world. She is such a doll and I feel lucky that the Lord trusted me to raise such an awesome little girl.

Disappointments...

2009-03-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well now that I am 30 years old, I would have to say I am not new at being let down. Not many of you know, but we made an offer on a house close to my work. The realitor said we had a really good chance, but as it turns out there was a better offer. What a disappointment! I really thought we had it... I mean, I was putting an offer for the first time on a house and I was at ease about the whole thing. I thought that it meant that I was doing the right thing and the house was meant for the Holt Family, but it just wasn't in the plan. Now back to the drawing board, looking for another house...

Best day ever...

2009-02-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am sad to say that I do not have any pictures from my "Best Day Ever". But boy do I have my memories. It started super early in the morning. We went to Sun Cycle to get our bikes and off we went for a 6 and 1/2 hour bike ride. We rode our bikes to Last Chance and got some funky sun hats. It was a blast. Well, anyway, even though I don't have any pictures, I have lots of memories. During parts of our journey, my cousin would randomly start singing "Best Day Ever" a familiar SpongeBob song. So I thought I would share...

It was truly one of my most memorable days. Honestly, I haven't had this much fun or carefree since I ditched school in college and went to the scrapbook convention all by myself! Let me tell you, that was fun~ BEST DAY EVER... so when can we go again so I can get some pics???

Long over due....

2009-02-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, it has been way too long since I posted, a whole 4 pounds ago! Yep, in the last 3 weeks I have lost another 4 pounds which is a total of almost 10 pounds (9.4 to be exact). I can sure say that I feel much better. I haven't been exercising as much as I would like, but Colby has been forcing me out of bed on Saturdays for a nice long run (well, more like, walk, run, walk, walk, run).

However, I have discovered a new way to exercise, bike rides! We have been wanting beach cruisers for a while and are always hearing how wonderful the bikes rides are from my cousin Jeni. Jeni and Robbie go every Saturday and so for Valentines day we are going to join them. I am so excited!!!! We pick the bikes up Saturday morning and we are headed off for some excercise! So if you see adults on some nice looking beach cruisers, that would be the Holts pretending that they are in San Diego! Hey, if I can't go to the beach, bring the beach to me :)
P.S. All I am missing now is Toto!

WW update...

2009-01-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well I really wanted to give an update everytime I went to WW (Weight Watchers). This week has been so hectic that I haven't had a chance to post what I lost from my voluptuous body... 1 and 1/2 pounds. I know, it was a little disappointing, but it was a loss. I am definitely expecting a greater weight loss this Monday, but who knows. It is a total of 5 and 1/2 pounds... better than gaining I guess. I need to lose 10 more pounds just to be back where I was in September... suck! But then I can really feel better about myself. Anyway, wanted to thank everyone for their help and volunteering to walk with me, Thanks Jessica!!!! However, I have been so extremely busy with work, parent teacher conferences, yearbook, and children, that I am just not finding the time or energy to excercise. I am in no shape to excercise! I am really wanted to do more in the next coming months so we'll see if I can fit it in... I will let you know how it goes on MOnday!

P.S. Glad to hear Ed is not dying!

2009, year for Miracles...

2009-01-19T08:15:00.001-07:00

Well, I am thinking that this is going to be an amazing year for me, my family, our state (Go Cards), and our country. I am very OPTIMISTIC this year. Friday, January 16th, 2009 will be a day I will never ever forget. It was like watching a movie, something that I could only imagine, but it was real and happening before my very eyes. Colby graduated, and I got to pin his badge on him. He is truly my HERO. Not because of his line of work, but this is a man that never gave up. He had a lot against him, but he persevered and succeeded. My testimony of PRAYER, fasting, and priesthood blessings have grown tremendously in the last 9 months. Now that my husband goes to work everyday and puts his life on the line, I will have to pray even more. I KNOW that my Heavenly Father loves me and my family. Wow, words just cannot describe how I feel. All I can say is if you ever wanted something, or wanted to become something, I know that ANYTHING is possible. I am a BELIEVER of hard work. 7 years ago today, I was pregnant, expecting my fourth child. We were financially strapped not because of debt, but because of construction and results of 9/11. Here I am 7 years later, I have a master degree, Colby is a Phoenix Police Officer, my kids are all in school, and I finally have financial stability in my life. Anything is possible if you have FAITH.

It is finally over...

2009-01-14T06:13:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Colby did pass his test... Woo Hoo... can't really talk, I need to get ready for work... but I know many people have been praying for us. Thank you.

In case you were wondering...

2009-01-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't fallen off the deep end. I am no longer depressed... my depressions never last longer than 24 hours, life is too funny to be DEPRESSED! Ok, so here is my game plan... at school my friend Tiffany put together a biggest loser competition. All the grade levels are competing against each other to hold the title of Biggest Loser... I am just really excited to wear that crown. I have been running the stairs during my prep, after school, and the plan is to eventually get to my cousin's house to walk at least 3 times a week.
Okay, so are you dying to know how I did this week? You know, the weekly weigh in at Over Eaters Anonymous (Weight Watchers)? Okay, well four pounds are now missing from my voluptuous body. That's right, 12 more pounds and I will have all of this Holiday weight off and I can start focusing losing weight!
On a serious note, please say a special prayer for us... Colby took the AZ POST today and gets the results in the morning. It is not just a test, but a life change, a second chance, test of faith, pay off of perseverance, and most of all a dream come true for my husband. Thank you all who take time to read what is going on with the Holt's.

Depressed...

2009-01-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know, depressed is a word that is used way too often. But I can say tonight that I feel so sad... I feel sad because just about 2 1/2 hours ago I had a wake up call. You know what I am talking about, the one that you are kind of in denial about and then it just comes out of no where and smacks you across the face? Well, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, I have been in denial since school started, what am I talking about? Well, my life story of course! My weight, yeah that's right, I am not afraid to say it, it is my weight. It is that hated word in my vocabulary that has been haunting me my whole life, WEIGHT! It has kept me from being happy at my most happiest moments, it sits and waits for me to look in the mirror in the morning, yeah the outfit is cute, the make up is perfect, my hair looks good, but who am I kidding???? Look, it can't be hidden with a smile, it is there for the whole world to see, my weight.
After I had Marley I took "IT" off with Weight Watchers and since then have been going back and forth between 20 pounds. But, not tonight. I joined Weight Watchers, seriously for the 12th time in my life (sad, huh?). And to my surprise, I am exactly what I weighed 7 years ago right after I had Marley. I have gained 16 pounds since the last time I joined WW back in September. Pathetic? Yeah, I know. It made me sick to my stomach. 47 pounds packed right back on. How did this happen? How could I possible let myself get to this point again, and I can't even blame it on a baby! NO, this time I get to take the responsibility all on my own. The saddest part is that I only weigh 10 pounds less than my husband. This is seriously out of control. Really, it is not only that I feel bad about my looks, but that I don't care enough about myself to take care of my body. For the longest time I have always tried to hide the fact that I am insecure about my weight, but tonight I realized that I don't want to hide and be insecure. I seriously need to face reality! Eating a freakin' doughnut from QT has it's consequences! I have to do something... I have to do more than Weight Watchers. I need a game plan... a serious one too.

All I want for Christmas is...

2008-12-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

My two front teeth. Okay I know that I am posting 3 blogs today, but a lot has happened since the last time. Marley lost her other tooth 4 days before Christmas. She looks so funny... just thought I would share with everyone!

Reflection on 2008...

2008-12-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

As we are approaching the end of 2008, I have been doing some reflecting on this year. We have had the biggest year of our marriage. Colby quit his job he had for 11 years, with the economy being the worst we have ever seen. This seemed not only scary, but in some ways stupid. But he did it in May. I have to say that I realized this year that his faith is stronger than mine. I spent a month crying and being scared out of my mind, but he kept it together saying it would be okay. Well, you all know what happens, he gets hired on with the City of Phoenix as a police recruit. Wow, what a blessing! He knew... he just knew.

We have had so many blessings this year. From real life changing blessings, to simple "wow, someone is looking out for us" blessings. Some of those life changing blessings are Colby's new job and me graduating with my master degree. Here are some pictures of my graduation.

It's over! Thank goodness! Woo Hoo! Can you believe it? Misty Jeanette Holt, M.Ed.???? Who knew?

The true Holt family!

My kids are the reason I returned to school. I wanted them to know that anything is possible. I wrote on my cap to remind them that this one was for them.

I am so grateful for this day and this moment. Which reminds me to tell you about one of those "wow, someone is looking out for us" blessings. Colby is not allowed to take any day off while he is in the academy. So the entire time I was planning on graduating, we both knew he wouldn't be able to come because it was on a Friday @ 9:00AM. This made me really sad and almost made me not want to walk. He has a schedule for each week the whole time he is in the academy. The week before my graduation he looked at his schedule and for some reason it was a 4 - 10 (4 days 10 hours)schedule that week and that week only, which meant he had that Friday off. On December 19th it simply read "Day off". He had my graduation off! What, are you kidding????? No I am not! He was able to come to my graduation, wow, someone is looking out for us! It was a just another reminder that our Heavenly Father loves us and is looking out for us yet again. Some things that even seem impossible He makes them happen. Wow.

Well, as another year ends and 2009 begins, I know that this year will be filled with great memories, life changing blessings, and of course "wow, someone is looking out for us" blessings. Colby graduates from the academy on January 19th. Please pray for us. He has several different test that he must pass, and he is really stressed out. I know that soon I will posting his graduation pictures, and I have to say that it will be a far greater accomplishment than I have ever done. He has worked harder in the last 5 months than I ever have. He is amazing. My love has grown so much for him this year. I am so blessed to have him as my husband.

Oh I almost forgot, another life changing blessing that I had this year was becoming an aunt, how could I forget that????? Here is a picture of the little miracle!

Christmas Eve traditions...

2008-12-28T08:33:00.001-07:00

Every Christmas Eve we have the same tradition. I am usually finishing up on some last minute gifts, wrapping, and of course doing our annual bake off. Katherine and Jes come over every year and we have a Christmas movie marathon and we bake cookies, pies, banana bread, fudge, peanut brittle, peanut clusters, and what every our hearts desire. We have been doing this now for 8 years. We probably only have a few more years left because Katherine is 16. She will be in college, getting married, and doing her own thing. I hope we can still continue our traditions.

I love Christmas Eve more than Christmas day. I have time to really think about the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of our savior. I read "God bless your way" to the kids. It is a Christmas Journey in another person's perspective. I really liked it, but I think it kind of confused Marley.

I am so thankful that I can share with my kids the true meaning of Christmas. With this year's added stress, it was really difficult getting into the Christmas spirit. My Aunt Lara told me to buy the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." I made the kids watch it with me. That helped me find the other meaning of Christmas, a time to think of others instead of myself. It was my grandmother's favorite movie. I talked to the kids and we added to our tradition. We gave each child 10 dollars. They had to pick a name and go to the store to buy for their person. It was a lot of fun since we made them keep it a secret of who they picked. I am not sure if it worked, but maybe as they get older they will understand.

My kids all took their turns being sick the week of Christmas. Marley wrote a letter to Santa and she ask for her health and to be well for Christmas day. She ran a temperature all day Christmas Eve. She did feel better on Christmas day, so I guess there is a Santa, not that I ever questioned it.

Today is Sunday and I stayed home from church. I guess it is my turn to have the flu. I am a little irritated because I really wanted to take down my Christmas trees. They are still up and it makes me really sad. But I feel like crap, excuse the language there just isn't a better word that I can think of at the moment. I get really nervous and suffer from anxiety after Christmas and on New Year's day. I am not sure why, I just worry about what the next year is going to bring. I just keep reminding myself that I need to control what I can and the rest just give to my Heavenly Father. Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and has a safe New Year.

Thankful...

2008-12-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well, as of Friday Colby is considered the Senior class in the police academy, wow! In the past, Colby and I have truly endured our share of challenges, but by far this has been the most difficult. In August I was thinking about not continuing my education because he was starting this program, but with some encouragement from friends I decided that I would take the last two classes to finish grad school. Well, in the middle of the semester I decided that I wasn't going to graduate because I didn't have the time to meet all of the other requirements for graduation. But, again with some encouragement, I decided a week before my lesson was due that I would give it a try. Well, enough said, I meet all of the requirements and I am graduating on Friday. I just am so thankful that I have so many encouraging friends and family that surround me. A lady from work sent me an email that read,
You truly are my hero!!! To have the strength, determination, patience, and fortitude to complete your Master’s Degree while WORKING FULL TIME, RAISING FOUR CHILDREN, and KEEPING YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY (and doing it ALL without drinking)…….you deserve to be on a postage stamp!! I am so proud of you and so happy for you that it is DONE!!!! Congratulations!! Love, Karen
I thought a lot about what she said and I thought to myself, "I didn't do it alone. I don't do anything alone. I couldn't have done it without my Heavenly Father. I have lived on my knees for the last 4 months pleading with him to give me strength. And the only reason why Colby and I are where we are is completely prayer."
I have to testify that I know he answers our prayers, and if you ever wonder look around and you will find the proof. There is no doubt that we have received several blessings in 2008, but I am looking forward to it coming to an end. I hope that 2009 will be a healing year, for our country and family.

All I want for Christmas...

2008-12-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

Marley officially lost her tooth! The other one is loose too, my little girl is growing up so fast. There is a cute story behind this tooth. She was so excited to show her teachers her tooth that she took it to school in a baggy. Well I guess during lunch she lost it in the cafeteria. The PE teacher that was doing lunch duty saw a 1st grader (Marley) crying over this lost tooth. See, she hadn't a chance to get money from the tooth fairy yet and she was worried that she wouldn't get any money. Coach Allen took Marley to the nurse's office and got her one of the tooth necklaces and then she wrote a letter to the tooth fairy ensuring her that she was a witness and Marley really did lose her tooth. I am not sure why this impressed me so much, but I almost started to cry. I know how busy teachers are, especially the primary teachers. Coach Allen cared enough about Marley to take time and go above and beyond a teacher's duty and for that I am grateful. This simple act of kindness not only helped a first grader to stop crying, but made her mom realize that the world is still good and people aren't always in a rush. Teachers care for all kids, that is why they have devoted their lives to teach our children.

My five day break...

2008-12-02T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well I have had quite a memorable weekend... my weekend started last Tuesday night. It was wonderful. I watched a movie... yes, I found the time. I spent Wednesday getting ready for Thanksgiving since I was expecting 60 people at my house. I made pies with my sister in law Britt, she is a rookie so it was kind of a tough thing to do. We decided to go and see the movie Twilight. This would be my second time, Britt's first. It was so good the second time! I normally go to bed at around 8 o'clock and the movie started at 10. I really felt like I was a teenager again, well in some ways. I have heard several different opinions about the movie, but I just want to give my two cents since this is my blog and, well, just because I can, I loved it! I ended up seeing it 3 times! Yes, I just can't help it!

My Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful! I enjoyed myself so much. I love when my family come over and there isn't anything else going on except for just enjoying each other. I missed my Aunt Marsha and a few others, but I want to say that it was just a delightful day.

Colby and me just enjoying the day.

This is the lovely vegetable platter that I bought just for Thankgiving, the vegetables were good too.

Katherine and Kyla

My mom and me taking charge of the kitchen.

Well, as you can see I did have a good weekend. But I had a scary weekend too. Friday morning, Colby woke up with this weird lump on his head. He was in really bad pain so he went to urgent care. There they gave him a shot and some antibiotics. Saturday he felt worse, so again he went to urgent care. They told him there was nothing they could do, but they gave him some pain medicine. Well, keep a long story short, Monday after work he felt even worse so we went back to urgent care. They sent us to the hospital, and finally he got fixed! Now the picture you are about to see is graphic, so if you have a weak stomache, don't look!

Pretty gross, huh?

Well, it is Tuesday night and I can't tell you have excited I am to finally see my husband relaxed and not in pain. I always thank my Heavenly Father for my family's health, but not with much thought. These last couple of days I just wanted Colby to feel better so bad, I need to show more gratitude for our health. It has been a long couple of days. I feel so blessed that Colby is finally feeling somewhat better. He is on 3 different antibiotics, but at least he is not in pain and is on his way to recovery! Woo!

Now, for my final thoughts. For those of you who do not know, I have been in grad school for two years now. I am finishing my last two classes, actually my last night of school is tomorrow. I had to do several things to graduate. I had to take a multiple choice test, which I passed. But I have been waiting several weeks to get the results from ASU about my lesson plan and video. Well anyway, I found out tonight that I passed! I graduate on December 19th. I couldn't be happier, or should I say, relieved! I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! I can't believe that those words are leaving my mouth! I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! Here is the exact email:

Good afternoon,

The scoring committee for the Content Academy comprehensive examination has met and scored your lesson plan. I am happy to announce that you have passed all parts of the comprehensive exam! You will receive an official letter from the department chair soon. Congratulations!

I just couldn't believe it... there is my Christmas gift... this one I gave to myself.

Its the time of the year again...

2008-11-10T19:39:00.001-07:00

Here is the 26 pound Turkey!

Dedication! What are we going to buy?

Yes, Margaret got tons of deals!

Well for those of you who don't know, Thanksgiving is always held at my house. It has been a family tradition for 8 years now. So last year my family from Kansas came out and we had a house full. I found a 26 lb turkey, yes and I have the picture to prove it! Anyway, I am getting excited, because we only have a couple of more weeks before we are eating turkey and GETTING READY FOR SHOPPING! Yes, that is right! SHOP, SHOP, SHOP, until we drop or run out of money! It all starts immediately after dinner, we all surround the table and make lists! The list can contain many things we don't need, but they are such good deals we can't help ourselves! I have no idea what my kids want this year for Christmas, but whatever it is I can find it for 1/2 the price on Black Friday! We start off at Walmart, then head over to Target, some split off and go to Mervyns. When we got all of those deals we head to KOHLS where just about everything is 50% off. If you can imagine, it is like the Amazing Race reality show with a bunch of Ribordys! Every year we find ourselves exhausted standing outside Chili's waiting for it to open. It has been a family tradition to go shopping on Black Friday and I can't imagine Thanksgiving without this tradition. Last year was the first year that Colby went with me, we had so much fun. There are around 20 family members that wake up at 3 am and head out to find those deals of a life time! If you have never gone, try it, I guarantee you will be addicted! The deal last year was my Cricut, regularly $185 and found it at Walmart for $114. AWESOME!

1 year and a half ago...

2008-11-10T18:32:00.000-07:00

I was looking through some pictures and ran into these pics. I was blown away to see how young the twins looked. They are so grown up now and these pictures were taken almost a year and a half ago at their baptism. They were baptized on their 8th birthday, May 12, 2007. These pictures reminded me that life goes by so fast. So much has changed since these pictures were taken. Not only have the people in the pictures changed, but the life they once knew is totally different. The change isn't a negative change, but it's just changed. Things, jobs, priorities, schools, presidents, and everything else that has any of importance... ummm. But most importantly, the people in the pictures have grown.

Anyway, aren't they precious?

Humble and somber presence...

2008-11-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Today has been a very challenging, emotional, humbling, and solemn day. The day after a presidential election. I watched a historical moment as I laid on my couch last night after waiting in line for over 2 ½ hours to vote for a man that wasn’t elected president. I have never felt so nervous about a person being elected for president, Barack Obama… which takes a lot for me to even say because I don’t want people to think it is about the color of his skin. I loved McCain… but now it is time for me to support my country and the decision we made. I will support Barack Obama as my president. I will follow McCain and I will in "not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together." - Senator McCain. I love this country, and I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for being born in a free country. I am thankful that I live in a country that allows me to vote and voice my opinion. I am thankful that women before me had the courage to fight and rally so that I could have the right to vote. I love my country, I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be an American Woman. I know that people like me are feeling disheartened this morning, but if we love this country, we will pull together and accept the choice that the majority of the American People made. I want Obama to be successful; I do not wish him failure. Our country depends on whether or not he can or will follow through with the “change” he promised.
I am proud of the fact that now our country can say that we are not a racist country. This is something I have always felt to be true, last night it was confirmed.

Happy Halloween...

2008-10-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

Well it is not quite Halloween yet, but to me I feel like the holiday keeps coming and going. We had a fall festival at church and it was a lot of fun. As you can see the kids got all dressed up in their costumes and they were so excited. It was a like a trial run for Friday night! I also spent a couple of days in my classroom talking about Halloween and its history. I decorated my classroom with pumpkins, spiderweb, lights, and witches' brooms. I must say that this time of year is a lot of fun. In my district we get Halloween off, our fall break consist of two days which are usually the last two days in October, depending how it lands. I am resting at home and enjoying the two days that I have. Yesterday was Kennedy's birthday, and I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her since it was parent teacher's conferences and I had class. But today we are going to the mall and going to have some fun.

I am in love...

2008-10-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

I had to share this picture with everybody. This is my nephew and me. I am in loooove. When I look at this little boy, I feel like he belongs to me. I know that he doesn't, but in some ways he does, right? He is my only nephew and I want to spoil him rotten. I try to imagine what the sound of his laugh is going to be like! I just want to tickle him and make him laugh. He is just a delight and such a blessing to my life. I love being an Auntie!

Fall at the Holt's house

2008-10-12T14:13:00.001-07:00

I was looking around my house thinking of how much I love the fall. These pictures I took today while I was walking around my house. I love to decorate with my garland and special wreaths. I love the smells of the fall and I always spend money around this time of the year at Bath and Body works getting all the oils that help my house smell like the Fall. Growing up, my mother always had candy in a candy jar around Halloween. So of course, I have to fulfill the tradition! I have a special candy dish that is filled with candy the whole month of October. I even bought one for my desk at school. For the last couple of weekends I have been waking up real early and sitting out on my porch swing to watch the sun come up. For me, it is something that I always took for granted when I was a stay at home mom. Now I just love going out and enjoying the great weather. I always make these special cookies everyday after church. My kids know that Halloween is coming when I make these cookies. I also love the Fall because I know that is that much closer to Christmas. Even though my life isn't what I wanted it to be, and I am under a lot of stress, I am trying to make this time of year as happy as I can. I am usually glowing this time of year and loving every minute of it... I still am, but a little more hesitant because I am afraid of the future. I hate not know what life is going to be like a year from now. The sacrafices we are making right now will pay off. We will have a better life in the long run. And when I say a better life, I don't mean more "treasures", but security.

I love this time of year, and hope everyone else does too.

Who does this child belong to?

2008-10-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

She belongs to Colby. Taylor is so funny! She walked in today all excited, and I asked her if she had looked in the mirror. She just gave me a funny smirk and said, "What?" Like she didn't look like a goof ball or something???? Just thought I would share the silly picture. Oh, and that is hot chocolate running down her clothes.

The wait is over...

2008-10-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

The wait is finally over... my brother is a daddy... never thought I would say those words. I am so excited to finally be an aunt. This has been such an emotional week so far. Kenny is going to be an amazing father... he just loves this little guy. For those of you who don't know my brother has been told his whole life that he would never be a father. With the advancement of medical technology, my brother now gets to enjoy the pleasure and blessing of being a dad. Parenthood is something that I have taken for granted, and I do believe that all babies, no matter how they get here, are so precious. But, I must say that when I look at Ryder, I stare in amazment. I think about what it took to get him here, and how grateful I am that this all came about. The Lord has really blessed me this week. I feel forever indebted to my Heavenly Father for giving me a nephew, and more importantly, giving my brother a son. Oh, I think I forgot to mention all the stats... we named him Kenneth Floyd Carden IV "Ryder". He weighed 7lbs 15.4 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. Britt worked really hard to get him here, 30 hours of labor and finally an emergency c section. She was quite the trooper! And the payoff of all the work, she got a baby that looks just like her!

Questions I was asked this week...

2008-10-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am always being asked questions, all day long! Of course, I am a teacher, that is what I do, I answer questions. Questions all day long can get a bit exhausting... but for the most part I am really patient and try to answer all of those questions... if I can't answer it, there is always Google. But the silly questions that I am asked are usually from my kids... okay, so are you ready for these????
1. "Mom, is it true that Marco Polo brought noodles from Italy to China?" - Taylor
2. "Mom, when did Chinese people discover American food?" - Taylor
3. "What does the word, A B S T I N E N C E, mean (as they spell it to me)?" - Lil Colby
4. "Do Chinese people do gymnastics?" - Taylor
5. "Did you walk by that tortilla place when you were little?" (Yes, I am so old that cars did not exsist!) - Taylor
6. "Mom, I don't want to whistle while I work!" - Marley (I know that is not a question, but I had to include it).

I guess it is clear that Taylor is the most curious one out of the group, does it surprise you? Anyway, I just jotted down these silly questions and thought I would share.

Decade day...

2008-10-01T10:10:00.001-07:00

It was spirit week at Madison #1 (where I work). We had such a great time. Kennedy is in 5th grade so she dressed in the fifties and I am a 7th grade teacher, so of course I got to dress 70's. It was awesome. We had such a good time, it was a lot of fun. We also had a great time shopping for our costumes at the spirit store. The other picture is my friend Tiffany, she is the other 7th grade teacher. She is a great girl and I couldn't ask for a better "other half". She gets to teach 8th grade too, so she dressed in the 80's. It was so much fun and the students really got into it. Did I mention that I love my job!

One year ago....

2008-09-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

It was one year ago at this time we were enjoying ourselves in the most wonderful place on earth, Disneyland. In case you were wondering, I love Disneyland! I would choose to go there over any exotic island anyday! Nothing brings greater joy than when the gates open and you smell the churros, hear the laughter, see all the children with smiles on their face, and feel the excitement all the way to your bones. It is like Christmas morning the whole time you are there. We usually go every year at this time. The Holt's love Halloween. I think the older I get the more I love the fall. We are not there this year, but I know we will be visiting Disneyland soon. As I glance over at Marley's bedroom door, her Mickey Mouse ears hanging patiently until they can once again be used, I reflect on our life right now. I feel sort of like the Mickey Mouse ears hanging and waiting. Not too sure what the future brings, but in the meantime trying to work, raise a family, finish graduate school, and help my husband complete the police academy. I normally handle stress pretty well, but I will be the first one to admit that didn't know what I was getting myself into when Colby got accepted to the police academy. The only thing that has been keeping me going are my kids and pictures of those days when things were simple. I have caught myself getting lost in old scrapbooks, looking through old photo albums, and thinking about how simple my life was and now is so complex. In the midst of all the hecticness (if that is a word?) I am patiently waiting for the arrival of my nephew, Ryder. Another one of God's greatest miracles! I will post a picture as soon and the little man arrives.
I am grateful for my trials and the blessings that I receive each day. I know that the Lord has a plan for me and my family. I am so grateful to be married to my best friend. Even though this year I am not in Disneyland, I am preparing for greater things. A good friend of mine once told me, "If you are comfortable, you are NOT progressing." Everytime I feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed I think about the progress we are making as a family. Thanks Rejili.

Tough week...

2008-09-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well, wow, it has been a little stressful this week. I have learned a lot about myself though... I am a control freak! If it is not in my control, I want nothing to do with it! I can tell you that I absolutely hate not being in control of my life! It is not a good feeling. Colby told me that I have to start living in the present, the past makes us depressed, and the future gives us anxiety. So true. But, I also know that we can only control 5% of our emotions, so there. Anyway, I hope everyone doesn't feel as though I am ignoring them. I am just really busy. I decided that I am not going to graduate this semester. I will finish all of my classes, but I am not going to take the test. I just have too much stress and I can't add to it. I will just pay an extra $400 to ASU to keep me an active student and I will take the test in the spring, easy enough and no stress! If I owned an "easy button" I would push it!

My Tay

2008-09-15T19:48:00.001-07:00

I just had to share this with the rest of the world. My daughter,Taylor, is my ray of sunshine. She makes me laugh so much. If you haven't had the chance to get to know Taylor, you better because I know one day she is going to be famous. She resembles my Grandmother, Janice, which I am so thankful for. Once in awhile, she will give me this look, and I am taken back by how much she looks like my Grandma. I know that it is a blessing to have Taylor in our lives. She is such an amazing young lady! She is the only kid I have that would bust out with moves in the middle of Target. She just cracks me up. So anyway, check out this video of her in Target... too funny.

The day the world stopped turning...

2008-09-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

9/11 is still so fresh in my mind. I can remember where I was, not physically, but emotionally. I had just found out that I was pregnant with Marley. I was only 23 years old and getting ready to have baby number four. Colby was doing construction and the economy was suffering. I remember being so afraid of the unknown. The security I felt growing up dissappeared in about 102 minutes.

On Thursday, I woke up earlier than normal and turned on the television to watch the news. This is something I never get to do now that I work. It was 4 o'clock in the morning and the big story was the anniversary of 9/11. I reflected on where I was when the world stopped turning, 7 years ago. I realized that the students I had now were in Kindergarten. I got out one of my old scrapbooks and took out the layout that I did shortly following 9/11. The twins just turned two and Kennedy was 4. Wow, time has passed by so quickly. I talked to my kids all the way to school and we talked about what happened that day. Colby was so full of questions. I told him that we still don't understand WHY, but it happened and we must learn from history. I also talked to my students that morning and shared with them the layout I did. I let them make comments or ask questions. They were all very respectful and understood the magnitude of the devastation that took place that day. I am so grateful for the country that I live in. I am grateful that I was chosen to live in the promise land and enjoy being free. I pray for those families who suffered losses.

Bitter Sweet...

2008-09-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well who knew that shining boots would be such a big deal? After several hours, two types of shoe polish, and 1 google search... we are finished! Woo! Okay, so both of us are learning a lot, codes, 10s and polishing shoes, who knew? Everything is going okay. I started my first day of school last Wednesday (that will be the last time I "start" a semester, woo hoo!) It went smoothly. Colby got his first taste of what the academy was going to be like today, he said a was a bit like what he imagines hell is like. But, he survived. He officially starts the academy on Monday, please keep us in your prayers and thoughts as we try to conquer our next trial. It seems as though Colby and I have always had something extra on our plate besides LIFE. But I guess the Lord doesn't give us too much more than we can handle. We spent a little bit of quality time together this weekend. We visited with Jonathon and Tiffany while they were here for their sealing. We had a family gathering on Saturday for Britt and Kenny's baby shower. It was so nice to visit with everyone. Jeni and Robbie came over and we TRIED to go to Hobby Lobby but it was closed, bummer, but I can say that I saved a bundle of money. I got to go to Chipolte, which is extremely important. Jeni and I visited a lot and talked about music, which everyone knows how much I can talk about music. I love spending time with her. I feel like I got a part of me back when I am with her, you know, the old part of me. I am really proud of her taking that step and enrolling in college. It takes a lot of courage to enter the world of the unknown. It is inspiring to watch a person's life change. It has a been a great weekend and a wonderful start of another week. Teaching is going fantastic, enjoying it like always. I can't imagine spending my life doing anything else...

Getting ready...

2008-08-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

So Colby starts work in a week... can't believe it. He is so excited and nervous all at the same time. We are working really hard to get him ready. We will be going next week to get his uniforms (basically work out clothes) and boots. He got his hair cut and a new pair of running shoes (run forest run). Of course, Nikes. We have been practicing essays and doing spelling test. I start college next week (I'll never say those words again, my last semester, woo hoo) so I have some butterflies too. This week has been very calm, and I have been saying that to everyone. A teacher looked at me and said, "You know what they say, 'calm before the storm'." I hope that is not true but I know things are going to start getting a little more stressful. I know and believe that you can do anything if you believe in yourself. I believe in Colby and he believes in himself, so I know he will be successful. I was driving in my car the other day and heard an old song, The River, by Garth Brooks. I started to cry. I have heard that song so many times but right now in our lives it's lyrics have never been so true. Here at the lyrics for you incase it has been a while since you heard the song:

You know a dream is like a river

Ever changin' as it flows

And a dreamer's just a vessel

That must follow where it goes

Trying to learn from what's behind you

And never knowing what's in store

Makes each day a constant battle

Just to stay between the shores...

andI will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside

And let the waters slip away

'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow

Has now become today

So don't you sit upon the shoreline

And say you're satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids

And dare to dance the tide...

yesI will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters

And I know I'll take some falls

But with the good Lord as my captain

I can make it through them all...

yesI will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Schools back in session, woo hoo!

2008-08-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well here we are, first day of school. The kids were so excited! They don't really get nervous, but Kennedy complained of a tummy ache. The first day was interesting, I had several different rules that has started and I am trying to adjust. Kennedy goes to school at my school now that she is in Middle school. She is missing her old teacher, but I think it is getting better. Taylor had a rough first day, her bff is not in her class and she didn't have anyway to play with (didn't last long, believe me). Colby is so quiet and independent. He loves his teacher, and only got one think time this week, but he wanted us to know that he told the truth. Telling the truth is just as important! Okay, now for Marley. She is in the gifted classroom, ummm...., and she has 2 teachers. She got off the bus and ran to the van yelling, "school is awesome!" with both hands straight up in the air... gotta love it! She gave me the biggest hug and said, "My teachers are AWESOME!" That made me feel really good. Everyone is doing really well. I have to admit, so far this year is 100 times easier then last year. The kids have adjusted to the commute and Marley has adjusted going to school. Last year was stressful. But things are going much smoother now. I believe that this is going to be an amazing year.

He said yes...

2008-08-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well we finally recieved the news that we have been waiting for... Colby passed! Okay, so he starts work on August 25th for the City of Phoenix as a Police Recruit... he was then be put on a waiting list for the police academy. I would like to thank each of you for your prayers and thoughts. I hope all is well... I am going out to a Dbacks game to celebrate!

Sunday afternoon...

2008-08-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

Well it is Sunday afternoon and I have had another exhausting weekend. I was hoping to relax before the big day on Wednesday (I return to my second home... my classroom). I have to report back to work... I am actually excited! I always get excited about school, it is new and everyone has butterflies in their stomach, woo hoo! I definitely know what it is like having butterflies. I have spent this entire summer dealing with ups and downs. I have been trying to stay positive and it has worked. As everyone knows, in May, Colby quit his job he had for 11 years and decided he wanted to try out for the police department. We have experienced the biggest trial in our marriage. We have lived off of less than 50% of his weekly income, I have entertained my kids with little or no money for the summer, and still managed to fill up my gas tank. We spent many days just staying home and doing little things, oh, and I completed 6 credits towards my masters (I keep forgetting that I did that:). Colby has finished all of the test (all 9 of them) and slimmed down 20 pounds in the process. He has given it his all and I have had to just watch. I have always been the one preparing and taking test, it has been very hard watching him go through it on his own. Well, anyway, Saturday he took his last test, and now we sit and wait to see if he will be hired on as a police recruit. We have prayed, fasted, prayed, and prayed again that the Lord will grant us this opportunity to serve the City of Phoenix. As I sat helpless on Saturday wondering if he answered all of the questions right, I felt so alone. We have our whole future riding on this simple "ok" and it was now out of our hands. He did everything he could and now I had to be brave enough to hand it over to the Lord. That sounds so easy, but it has been hard. I ask that you can keep us in your prayers, we should hear something this week. I will make sure I post what happens. Hope all is well...

It's a Miracle

2008-07-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

OkAY, can't believe it, but a miracle happened, yes they found my lap top at the DO. Okay I am calm. Anyway, I cut nine inches off of my hair and dyed it yesterday... whoa! I think it is a drastic change. I would post pictures, but I hate pictures of myself.

Colby is finishing up the last steps in the hiring "process" of becoming a cop. This has been the most intense couple of months for us. I don't think I have ever prayed so much in my life. The scariest thing is I know it is only the beginning, I will continue to pray 25 times a day (or more) for the rest of my life. One thing is for sure, I have become close to my Heavenly Father.

Please keep us in your prayers as Colby continues to go through this process. Hope all is well for everyone.

Freakin' Out!

2008-07-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I noticed that my laptop was missing. I prayed all weekend for a miracle and woke up first thing this morning to call the DO. No luck. No one turned in my laptop and I have to go in and see my princpal today. I am really upset and thought for sure someone seen it and turned it in. My last night of school was Thursday night and I remember loading my stuff in it, but I can't remember if I rolled it out to the car. Anyhow, it is gone and I am trying to remain calm and positive! I can't wait for work to start and I can get my life back in order. Please pray that someone saw it and is going to turn it in.

Turning 30!

2008-07-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well, yes I am 30 years old now, and I can say that I don't feel any different. I think that everyone pays too much attention to age. It wasn't that big of deal, and it just gave me an excuse to buy myself something. With that being said, I finally bought Bare Minerals. I am not sure if anyone else uses it, but I have been curious about it and had my face done Friday night. I was so impressed, that I bought the kit. I have been experimenting with it, so my makeup has been just a little freakish! My friend Bethany even noticed and said that my face looked different. I took it in a positive way because if anyone knows Bethany, she would have told me I looked weird. I like it a lot and it is really easy to use. I hate powder, and never use powder, so I was a little hesitant. Anyway, if you have wondered about it, call me and I can give you the low down on the product! Talk to you later!

School is supposed to be out for SUMMER!

2008-07-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am trying so hard not to be negative. My friend Rejili lectured me for hours about having a positve attitude, but I have to tell you how much I am so feakin' sick of school. I haven't had a summer off since 2003. Yeah, think about how long ago that was. I have been in school and enrolled in every semester including summer since January of 2004. This is really becoming a sickening thing. (Is sickening a word? That is why I teach math :)
Having a positive attitude does work (in addition to prayers). Colby passed his polygraph yesterday for the Phoenix Police Department. We are so excited... not sure what the next step is, but we are already focusing on the Police Academy (Rejili, we are picturing it in our heads). Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts.
Anyway, this is my last day being twenty something. I told Colby that he has one more day to enjoy with his 29 year old wife, because tomorrow he is married to an old hag. I can't believe that I am the big 30, and to top it off I am going to the dentist to get 3 crowns put on... wow I am freakin' old.
But, on a positive note, I hear that 30 is the new 20. Right? Well look out 30's because I rocked my 20's! I had 4 kids, got a bachelors and started grad school. I will begin my 30's by graduating with a Masters, I am kind of scarying myself. I am new to this blog thing, but I think it is starting to make me a little conceited. Ha!

Girls camp 2008

2008-07-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

I just got back from girls camp late Sunday night. Wow, what an experience. I was entertained all weekend by Edna, Jaqui, Nikkel, Jackie Lee, Becky, Tobie, and Cindy. We were quite the crew. We had a blast staying up late and laughing until our guts hurt. I don't think that I have ever laughed the way I did this past weekend. Edna was so hystarical. One of the best quotes from her this weekend after someone told her that she was going to hell, "I have to, that is where all of my friends and family are going to be." She was so funny. We did a lot of reminiscing with each other, we made some confessions too, right Tobie? We not only had fun, but I was feed spiritually. The sacrament meeting was absolutely amazing. I will never forget the spirit that was there that morning, it makes me teary eyed just thinking about it.